Counting the Costs – Part One

May 31st, 2014

Sunscreen. Low cholesterol/low fat diets. Seat belts.  Choices with specific consequences.

What happens when the consequences, the implications, the long term impact aren’t so clearly delineated.  This is the risk in any relationship. Currently marriage statistics suggest if it isn’t what is wanted people end it, walk away, start over.  But what happens when it is a child? A child who has experienced trauma, neglect and abandonment. A child brought into a home he wasn’t born into, unprepared and having no real  choice in the decision,  but was sought and chosen to be added to a family of a childless couple, a family with other children or second family for a couple whose own children are successfully raised and on their own. What happens when it is more than anticipated and planned for?

Trauma changes the brain and inhibits development. Abandonment changes ability to trust others. Neglect changes how care is – or isn’t -received.  Fear is the first response creating unpredictable reactions to people, places, and things.  What now? What to do with all the expectations of yourself, your  family, your friends and your child? What to do with the self confidence (pride?) you could do this alone and  all the answers you were sure you knew before entering into this new world?

Adoption changes E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.

Are you ready to accept that?



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