Counting the Costs Part 3 – Persevering

June 12th, 2014

Persevering – not a word common in the a world of apps, microwaving, and Google where so much is available so quickly at our fingertips. And yet…persevering is the very thing required to rebuild and repair the pain and doubts in ruptured relationships. It is almost as if investing in relationship – attachment – building goes against what so much of our society and popular self help would recommend. Why would someone enter into a relationship and then stay in it when there are so many days of sadness, uncertainty, high demands and little immediate reward?

Could the reason be something as intangible as hope, believing in possibilities, and willingness to see what comes of a life that must repeatedly be reassured, frequently nurtured and nourished, and advocated and intervened for with nearly everyone who  comes in contact with your child. Oh, yes, and then there is that reason: because you promised the child you would be there.

So where, when the going gets tough – so very tough – do the tough and tender hearted go? How is persevering done? Often on one’s knees. Sure, there are the professionals – and the good ones are great to find, for the child and the parent. There are the books which range from awful to zany suggestions and guidance, and we are grateful for the solid and wise ones. There are specialty internet groups which can be encouraging or defeating. Even family and friends can become doubters and infrequent visitors to the life of healing a child, not understanding why persevere when it is not a happy time for the family. So whether the journey started in faith, there becomes a cry – a prayer – to whatever or whomever one believe can give a little more strength, courage, patience, and yes, hope to be the person needed for another day. It may be the very thing that brings you to a greater God than you have ever imagined.

We become humble people. Perseverence is possible when we give up having to know where it is all going. Perseverence is possible when we give up having to have it done the way we thought it was going to be done. Perseverence is possible when we give up giving up and decide to keep on showing up. Not because it is easy or fun or always rewarding. We persevere because that is how healing happens in us and with the child.


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